When to wake a sleeping baby
“Never wake a sleeping baby”, they say. I’m sure you’ve heard that one before…
I know, I know, no one ever wants to hear this kind of advice, and it’s totally ok if you want to scroll past this post and if you just don’t align or agree. but for those who want to understand the logic behind waking your sleeping child, read on.
There are a few times where it’s super helpful and even necessary to wake a sleeping baby and we’ll go over all of it in today’s post. Waking a sleeping baby may seem cruel, counterintuitive, and even unnatural, like why on earth would I ever wake my sleeping baby up? But at the end of the day, if your child is dealing with a real sleep struggle like difficulty falling asleep at night, consistent night wakings or early morning wakings then this is often a sign of too much daytime sleep and when I highly recommend capping their sleep.
But what’s the big deal?
You may be wondering why it’s a no-no to let them oversleep during the day or too late in the morning and I will explain. Simply put, a baby who exceeds the recommended amount of sleep for her age, will not only decrease much needed sleep pressure that’s necessary for her to fall asleep and stay asleep, but this oversleeping ends up eating up her night time sleep.
Now what do I mean by this? I will give you a scenario:
For example, say you have a 14 month old whose nap runs 3 hours long and takes another 1 hour nap in the afternoon, she also can’t fall asleep at night and is dealing with middle of the night wakings. Her daytime sleep is 1-1.5 hours longer than the required sleep for her age and what’s happening here is that some of that daytime sleep is being taken or ‘borrowed’ from the night time sleep. This merely causes a shift or an imbalance in a child’s sleep which is what ultimately causes many sleep issues like the one mentioned above and other sleep issues like split nights or false starts, which I talk about here. It’s not fair to the child to perpetuate their struggle by allowing them to sleep too much. They’re thrown off schedule and don’t sleep properly at night and we as parents also suffer because we have to deal with it. So in truth, no one really wins - and both parties end up losing a lot of nighttime sleep, unecessarily.
You might also say, well hey, if my child is sleeping then they obviously need the sleep…Yes, there is truth to that, but at the same time, sometimes we need to cap that sleep and reinforce a much needed wake up and wake time in order to preserve sleep in other areas of your child’s day or night that are lacking. So Instead of looking at waking them up as taking away sleep from them, look at it as a way of redistributing that sleep and balancing out their overall sleep. Sometimes we need to help them redistribute that sleep so your child can have an optimal day and night schedule.
Here are times where it’s necessary to wake your baby
When the nap is running too close to bedtime.
Cap their naps when they over exceed their daytime sleep and it starts to interfere with or eat up their nighttime sleep (the amount will vary depending on their age).
Wake them in the morning...
To reinforce a consistent wake time for your child.
To prevent the day from shifting forward too late causing a very late bedtime.
To help regulate their sleep/wake cycles and create a predictable routine.
When they are consistently having difficulty falling asleep at bedtime.
Wake a newborn...
To help reverse day and night confusion by preventing oversleeping.
To implement a dream feed.
To hep with poor weight gain.
To establish a good feeding routine.
To make sure they get in enough feedings during the day to prevent the need to eat more at night.
To combat jet lag or a time change.
The best way to overcome jet lag or a time change is to not allow your baby to oversleep for those naps or in the morning. This is the fastest way to get your baby over jet lag and adjust their body clocks to the new time zone or new time on the clock.
To make room for another nap.
Another time where it’s super helpful to wake your baby is if you need to make room for another nap. Sometimes we let that first nap go really really long and then there’s too many hours till bedtime but not enough time to squeeze in another nap. Your baby may be too young still to be awake for so long, so the best way to overcome this is to manipulate that first nap - cut it short to make time for a second nap, even if that second nap is really short. It’s enough to help your little one make it to bedtime without being crazy overtired and cranky.
To help support feeding patterns
A regular wake-up time helps establish consistent feeding schedules. Predictable feeding times ensure that the baby receives adequate nutrition throughout the day and can help prevent overfeeding or underfeeding.
Eases the transition to school or childcare.
Establishing a regular wake-up time from an early age helps prepare the baby for future routines, such as daycare, preschool, or school. Children who are accustomed to waking up at the same time every day transition more smoothly into structured environments that require early wake-up times.
Still Skeptical of waking a sleeping baby?
Here’s a more scientific understanding of why and when it helps to wake a sleeping baby.
There is so much more to just waking them to out of their precious sleep. Aside from the obvious things we spoke about like having a predictable schedule routine and consistent wake time, etc…you will also help your child consolidate their sleep.
Why is consolidating their sleep a big deal? Because helping your baby consolidate their sleep will help organize their sleep patterns, which will ultimately help regulate that steady output of melatonin that is much needed in order to sleep well. And when there’s no consistent output of melatonin, there is much in the way of disorganized sleep (I.e. no sleep/wake patterns and erratic sleep and wake times) will result in a confused circadian rhythm, an internal body clock that doesn’t really know if it’s night or day. And when the circadian rhythm is confused or out of sync with the body’s internal clock, the less melatonin it knows to produce, and the less sleep cues the body has for when it’s actually time to sleep - thus reinforcing lots of disorganized and unreliable sleep patterns. Surely you can see the domino effect there, right?
If your child doesn’t have that inner body clock or cue telling them when it’s time to sleep, they will also not have what to look forward to in their routine when it comes to what’s happening next. Is it nap time? Is it bedtime? Is it time for me to wake up or go back to sleep? They thrive on structure and predictability, as do adults, and helping them organize their sleep by waking them when we need to will also help their bodies learn to rely on its own sleep cues so that they have an idea of what’s happening next in their routine.
Are there times when I can let my baby over-lseep?
Absolutely! There are times when it’s beneficial and even necessary to just let your child sleep. We all need to cash in sometimes on extra sleep, whether we’re rundown or unwell, and for babies and children it’s no different. Here are times when it’s ‘ok’ to let them oversleep.
When they’re going through a growth spurt. Babies are often really tired when they’re growing and they it’s very normal for them to want to sleep. So if your baby suddenly goes from doing 11-11.5 hours of sleep at night to 13 or even more, it could be a sign of a major growth spurt. Usually it will last anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks at most. But don’t be alarmed at your child’s sudden bouts of extra sleep. They need it and it’s ok! It won’t interfere with their schedule much.
Babies who are sick or under the weather often just want to sleep. Sleep is the best medicine so by all means, let your child sleep! Let them sleep in, let them nap on the couch all day if that’s what they need to do. Put them to bed earlier if necessary. When they’re under the weather or sick there is no such thing as oversleeping. They’ll wake when they feel rested and rejuvenated and have enough energy to carry on.
When mom or dad needs a break! Obviously this shouldn’t be a daily thing that you let your child sleep for hours on end because you want that alone or ‘me’ time - I get it, we all crave that. But sometimes the going gets extra tough and the burnout kicks in…whether you’re a single parent, or your spouse works crazy hours out of the house, or maybe you just don’t have family around or help and you need a much needed break - go ahead and take it even if it means your child will sleep longer than he should. you can’t put a price on your sanity and if you need that extra bit of time or quiet to gather yourself and recharge then letting your child have that extra bit of sleep is totally fine. We’ve all been in that situation before.
Practical Tips for Establishing a Regular Wake-Up Time:
Gradual Adjustment:
If your baby currently wakes up at different times each day, gradually adjust their wake-up time in small increments until you reach the desired time.Morning Light Exposure:
Exposure to natural light in the morning helps reinforce the baby's internal body clock. Take your baby outside or open the curtains to let in sunlight soon after waking.Consistent Bedtime Routine:
Pairing a regular wake-up time with a consistent bedtime routine helps establish a predictable sleep-wake cycle.Avoid Letting the Baby Sleep In:
On weekends or during periods of disruption (like travel), try to maintain the regular wake-up time as closely as possible to avoid confusing the baby's internal clock.Adjust Nap Times:
Ensure that daytime naps are scheduled appropriately to support the baby’s overall sleep needs without interfering with nighttime sleep.
I hope this helped give you a better, deeper understanding of the logic in waking up a sleeping baby. If you are still on the fence, send me a message and let’s chat about it!
Bye for now.
