‘Cry-It-out’
This is probably the number one concern that comes to mind when parents are entering the realm of sleep training. Do I have to let my baby cry? How much crying is involved in the process, if any? Is it possible to sleep train without crying? Can crying harm my baby emotionally? The questions and concerns are endless when it comes to this hot topic.
Let’s dissect those questions and hopefully ease up some of that worry and concern…
Do I have to let my baby cry-it-out?
Absolutely not! That being said, I would like to point out that implementing any sleep training method will not be 100% void of tears, that is not realistic or even possible. As with any big change and new learned skill, babies need to learn the ropes and reverse old habits, which we all know can be a challenge for anyone. With those changes comes lots of practice, frustration, resistance and yes, even tears.
How much crying is involved?
There is no black or white answer to this question. It is common and expected for babies to cry intermittently throughout the night for the first few nights as they are learning to sleep and fall back asleep on their own. To put it bluntly, no matter which method you choose to implement, regardless of how much comfort or intervention is involved, there will be tears…how much, depends on other factors such as age and temperament. This crying is a baby’s way of protesting the change as they learn to adapt to their new environment and routine and as they learn to self-soothe and fall asleep without your help. That is A LOT of change for a baby to get used to. But you can significantly reduce the amount of tears by being consistent and allowing them the chance to learn their new skill.
A baby of 4 or 6 months old will likely cry a lot less than a 1, 2 or 3 year old because they are less aware of the changes being made and are usually easier to mold and undo old habits. It would be especially helpful for a parent to learn their child’s cry to determine if something is truly wrong or if they are simply expressing frustration. Differentiating what their cries mean will help prevent you from interfering unnecessarily.
The beauty of sleep training is that you can tweak your method at any time, should you see little to no progress or if what you’re doing just doesn’t seem to work. Sometimes babies require a bit more time undisturbed in their room to learn how to put themselves to sleep as our presence can often disturb them causing a lot of unnecessary extra tears. There are so many factors to consider and no method is a one-size-fits-all approach. That’s why It’s important to work with someone who understands you and your baby and who can truly customize a plan that feels right for you.
But take heart, you are not required to leave your child alone to cry in order to yield success. I do believe that infants need to be comforted and reassured during sleep training and should not be left alone without being comforted or checked on. A parent should always offer comfort and support when they feel their child needs it.
Will sleep training harm my baby emotionally?
To simply put it, no, there is no evidence that suggests that sleep training your baby, accompanied with parental support, loving care and reassurance, has any harmful or negative long term side effects.
Rested babies are happy babies and the opposite is also true. Research suggests that a well-rested baby is going to be more alert, attentive, happy, playful, etc…there’s certainly no harm in that!
Now that you have a better understanding of why babies and children cry during the process, hopefully you feel a bit more at ease about the fact that not all crying is bad, rather it’s their way of communicating and figuring out how to comfort themselves in the process - a crucial life skill that will come in handy when they are older and able to comfort themselves through life's many challenges.
Read the full blogpost about crying here.
